Do You Want Fries With That Democracy?

On the Dem Side

The conventional wisdom is that this is a three way race between Clinton, Edwards and Obama, with no favorites. Which must really grate all the reporters that have been trying to make it a two way race between Obama and Clinton. After all, Edwards is so last election cycle. And three people so much harder to cover than two. Poor reporters.

I think Obama wins with Edwards close behind and Clinton at a not so distant third. Which oddly might be better for Clinton than her finishing second, since it won’t allow any of the other two to cement themselves as the definitive Hillary alternative. With the two splitting the not Hillary vote she might still pull a win in New Hampshire, which would allow her candidacy to pick up steam again.

On The Republican Side

All the signs point to Huckabee winning with Romney coming in second, so if that happens it will be unsurprising. The real question is: how low will Rudy come? Low enough to be really embarrassing? Low enough to cause a campaign meltdown? We can only hope.

Obama will win the Dem nomination. If he doesn’t, Edwards will. Hillary, despite her front runner status, doesn’t stand much of a chance.

Huckabee will pull off a victory on the republican side. But it will be a close one, with Romney and McCain always snipping at his heels.

The Dem nominee will win in the general, but it will be much closer than it should, and election night will be a nerve wrecking affair.

If the Dem voters really cared about electability above everything else they would pick Edwards, but they don’t.

If the Republican voters cared about electability above everything else they would pick McCain, but they don’t.

Democrats will expand their lead in the Senate and retain control of the House.

At some point someone will say something they will enrage someone else.

Everyday someone will say something that will enrage Bill O’Reilly.

Sean Hannity will remain the hackiest hack in Republican hackistan. But there will be a lot of competition.

If a Democrat wins the presidency I will watch fox news the next day, and enjoy it for the first time in my life.

I arrived at these predictions using that tried and true method employed by 90% of the political comentariat: I pulled them out of my ass.

Election day is November 4. That is 11 months from now. Better stock up on Gin and Whiskey, it’s going to be a long one.

But there are a couple of good news to be had. The first is that the primaries start today, which means that candidates are going to start dropping like flies very soon. And in a little while we will have the two nominees. That means a lot less entertaining crazy, of course. But also a lot less of the maddening crazy. And it also means we will be able to stop the long and contentious dispute of what Democratic candidate is the best (or the least worst) and can concentrate on hating whoever the Republicans choose.

The other, much less important good news is that this little blog is now active. Hopefully we will be able to bring a little levity to the proceedings of this very important, and yet completely ridiculous affair. And failing to do that, we should at least manage to get a couple of cheap jokes in.

Please don’t take anything you read here to seriously (that is also, by the way, good advice for handling the candidates’ speeches). We aim to entertain more than we aim to enlighten. If we want something more serious and substantial there are tons of other blogs out there offering it. And if you want something more out loud funny, well, there is always The Corner.